clementine kruczynski

Everything reminds me of her. I can't watch Adventure Time anymore because it reminds me of how much I love her. I can't see people talking about drugs or "Friends" or Joy Division. I can't watch movies with Lindsay Lohan, I can't listen to Lana del Rey, I can't think about my last 3 months because all I did included her.
Now and then I just get really surprise seeing how fast and hard I can fall in love with someone. Mamma always told me that whenever I fell in love, it would be maddening. And it is.
I was mad about her and I'm probably going to be for the rest of my life.
I remember when I fell in love with Thiago... I didn't love him at first but I just believed that he love me... And sometime later I came to realize that I loved him more than everyone else. I still miss him.
With her it was just the same, but stronger. I don't know if it's because she really is the love of my life or if it's because we had fisical contact... I mean, it scares me to think that every time I fall in love it will just be harder and more difficult than the last time.
The thing is that I can't even say her name to myself or see any photo of her because I get thrills. Every time I say or listen her name out loud, I feel like... I don't know how I feel... I can't think about anything greater than "love" to describe this, but I really wish I could. And I wish I could stop loving people so hard.
Or better: I wish I could stop losing the people I love the most.

"I think I'll miss you forever... Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky."